


w

by blessed_image



Series: group chat aus [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AND WANDA/OKOYE, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, EVERYTHING IS ESTABLISHED APART FROM:, F/F, F/M, Group chat, IronStrange, M/M, MJ/SHURI - Freeform, Multi, Other, Pining, Texting, chat au, established relationship(s) - Freeform, group chat au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 08:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18546211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blessed_image/pseuds/blessed_image
Summary: so yall remember that Thor Makes Grape Juice fic? yeah uh i was the writer of that and i regret letting it go so im remaking it—————hope: scott forgot what ur name was and was like “nancy? nasa? ni...nipple?”tony: NASAmantis: i love my girlfriend nipplesteve: that can be taken a very different waytony: we get it steve ur a virginsteve: SHUTUOSOEISKJ





	1. introductions

**Thor:**

  * bigender (AMAB)
  * they/them
  * pansexual
  * trespassed onto a strangers garden because the dog looked sad
  * dyslexic 
  * H E T E R O C H R O M I A
  * in uni, foreign languages major
  * best friends with carol, quill and heimdall



**Steve:**

  * genderfluid (AFAB)
  * he/they
  * bisexual
  * colourblind
  * partially deaf
  * hates musicals
  * in uni, art major
  * best friends with bucky and scott



**Bucky** :

  * trans guy
  * he/they
  * bisexual
  * musicals fucking FUEL him
  * still an amputee 
  * in uni, sports major
  * best friends with scott and nat



**T’Challa:**

  * trans guy
  * he/him
  * pansexual
  * good at makeup fr fr
  * in uni, music major
  * best friends with okoye



**Bruce:**

  * trans guy
  * he/they
  * pansexual
  * bipolar
  * in uni, physics major
  * best friends with tony



**Brunnhilde:**

  * trans girl
  * she/her
  * bisexual
  * cant sing for shit but doesnt care
  * in uni, sports major



**Shuri:**

  * trans girl
  * she/her
  * lesbian
  * smart clown
  * in high school
  * best friends with peter, mj and ned



**M’Baku:**

  * cis guy
  * gay
  * eats shit hes allergic to bc hes teaching his body to “not be a pussy”
  * in uni, music major



**Peter P:**

  * trans guy
  * he/they/xie
  * bisexual
  * FOOL
  * in high school
  * best friends with mj, wade, shuri and ned



**Ned:**

  * cis guy
  * pansexual
  * makes food for everyone but sometimes with pranks
  * in high school
  * best friends with peter, mj and shuri



**MJ**

  * trans girl
  * she/they
  * bisexual
  * in high school
  * best friends with peter, shuri and ned



**Tony** :

  * trans guy
  * he/him
  * bisexual
  * in uni, business major
  * best friends with bruce and rhodey



**Pepper:**

  * cis girl
  * asexual/panromantic
  * cant dance for shit
  * great at art though
  * in uni, financing major
  * best friends with rhodey and hela



**Rhodey:**

  * cis guy
  * gay
  * what the fuck
  * mean gay
  * in uni, maths major
  * best friends with pepper and tony



**Sam:**

  * trans guy
  * he/him
  * gay
  * parent to most, horny to some
  * tries to adopt everyone
  * in uni, sports major



**Peter Quill:**

  * genderfluid (AMAB)
  * he/she/they/xie
  * bisexual
  * trips over xir own feet daily
  * pet raccoon :)
  * in uni, music major
  * best friends with mantis and thor



**Gamora:**

  * trans girl
  * she/they
  * bisexual
  * in uni, art major
  * best  friends with mantis and nebula



**Nebula:**

  * trans girl
  * she/her
  * lesbian
  * psychomotor agitation
  * vitiligo
  * in uni, business major
  * best friends with gamora 



**Stephen:**

  * trans guy
  * he/xie
  * pansexual
  * stupid bitch
  * wiccan
  * in uni, physics major



**Nat:**

  * agender (AFAB)
  * they/xie
  * asexual/aromantic
  * used to do ballet
  * the only reason any of these bitches are still alive
  * in uni, sports major
  * best friends with bucky, clint and wanda



**Clint:**

  * trans guy
  * he/him
  * gay
  * thinks deers are giraffes with short necks
  * actual fucking idiot no jokes
  * in uni, financing major
  * best friends with nat and pietro



**Loki:**

  * genderfluid (AFAB)
  * they/xie
  * pansexual
  * thot
  * <3333333333 @ scott but platonically 
  * in uni, psychology major
  * best friends with scott



**Carol:**

  * cis girl
  * lesbian
  * bad at presents but good at apologizing for it
  * in uni, foreign languages major
  * best friends with thor



**Maria:**

  * trans girl
  * she/her
  * lesbian
  * in uni, sports major



**Scott:**

  * agender (AMAB)
  * he/she/they/xie
  * bisexual
  * ADHD
  * diabetes 
  * in uni, art major
  * best friends with steve, loki, ava, luis and hope



**Hope:**

  * trans girl
  * she/her
  * pansexual
  * loves pastels but only wears black for the a e s t h e t i c
  * sends scott threatening messages like “ur carcass will be so ugly u stinky stink” to wake up to, jimmy gets hearts
  * in uni, maths major



**Okoye:**

  * cis girl
  * lesbian
  * in uni, foreign languages major
  * best friends with t’challa



**Wanda:**

  * cis girl
  * lesbian
  * in uni, psychology major
  * wiccan
  * best friends with pietro and nat



**Pietro:**

  * trans guy
  * he/him
  * gay
  * eats chocolate covered cheetos unironically
  * eboy
  * in uni, sports major
  * best friends with clint and wanda



**Heimdall:**

  * cis guy
  * pansexual
  * in uni, communications major
  * best friends with thor



**Wade:**

  * genderfluid (AMAB)
  * they/xie
  * pansexual
  * in uni, drama major
  * best friends with peter p



**Hela** :

  * trans girl
  * she/her
  * lesbian
  * in uni, forensic pathology major
  * best friends with pepper 



**Mantis:**

  * trans girl 
  * xie/xem/xir
  * lesbian
  * in uni, beauty major
  * best friends with quill and gamora



**Ava:**

  * cis girl
  * bisexual
  * in uni, biology major
  * best friends with hope and scott



**Luis:**

  * trans guy
  * he/him
  * straight
  * in uni, business major
  * best friends with scott



**Jimmy:**

  * cis guy
  * bisexual
  * allergic to blueberries :)
  * paints nails
  * one direction may have broken up, but they will always be together in his heart
  * in uni, criminology major



**Eddie:**

  * bigender (AFAB)
  * he/she
  * bisexual
  * in uni, psychology major




	2. JSKAHSKWN

**tony** **created** **the** **group** **chat**! 

**tony** **added** **steve** , **bruce** , **nat** , **pepper** , **thor** **and** **clint** **to** **the** **group** **chat**!

 11AM

**tony** : whalecum

**pepper** : dont say that

**bruce** : tony....what is this...

**steve** : sigh

**tony** : whAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN

**steve** : S I G H

**tony** : why are you doing that

**tony** : stop that

**steve** : what is the reason

**tony** :  😔😔😔 i just wanted to say hello

**nat** : great that means i can leave now

**tony** : N O

**nat** : and why! the fuck! not!

**tony** : i need your help

**bruce** : oh no

**nat** : with what

**steve** : literally what can any of us help with we are all useless

**nat** : speak for urself

**steve** : i am

**tony** : r e l a t i o n s h i p h e l p

**nat** : NO

**clint** : tony give me ONE fucjing reason nat could help u with that 

**steve** : give me one reaosn You could help with that clint

**clint** : thats a verye good pouint

**nat** : can you fucking SPELL?

**pepper** : gays cant spell

**thor** : oh eye sea

 

**thor** **added** **loki** **to** **the** **group** **chat**!

 

**tony** : WHY WOUDL YOU DO THAT

**thor** : loki is lthe best person to go to for that kinda shit

**loki** : what kind of shit

**loki** : im not into shit :/

**bruce** : please dont be gross

**loki** : :)

**tony** : relationship help

**loki** : JEPWBDEKDJQKSH OH

**loki** :  😌😌😌 of course i am here to help!

**tony** : how do i....relationship

**pepper** : who u tryna fuck 

**tony** : mf!!! i am not a purely sexual being

**pepper** : huh

**tony** :....

**tony** : ok well

**tony** : that’s irrelevant i do actually like this guy

**thor** : who?

**tony** : im not telling you that

**loki** : then how the fuck am i supposed to help you

**tony** : hes a physics major

**thor** : BRUCE?

**bruce** : god i fucking hope not

**tony** : fuck you

**nat** : bruce isnt the only person we know in physics

**tony** : who said you know him

**nat** :.....

**clint** ; do we know him

**tony** : yes

**nat** : fuckiNG-

**nat** : i hate you

 

pepper added stephen to the chat!

 

tony: h

steve: LMAIDWJJDSKDB

nat: NDJSJSJSJSJSKAN PEPPERKDKSJFKD

pepper: god this bitch so annoying

clint: S T E P H E N

tony: HHH

stephen: thats my name

stephen: what is this

loki: omg this is so good thor make some popcorn

thor: no

loki: you have betrayed me for the last time

thor: shut up idiot

loki: this is why dad doesnt fucking love you

thor: JJDANDJSJSJSK wbk  😔😔

tony: please stop depressing me

stephen: im going to ask again

stephen: what is this

tony: a groupchat 

stephen: no fuckjng shit

pepper: we are here to bully tony

stephen: why

pepper: the real question is why not

tony: no the real question is why

steve: can i add people

tony: W H Y

steve: ur all fucjjng broung

steve: boring*

thor: if steve adds people i add people

loki; thor adds people i add people

nat: any of you add people then i leave 

tony: go for it :)

nat: bastard

 

steve added rhodey, sam and bucky to the group chat!

 

sam: ew take me back

steve: :( 

sam:  🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

rhodey: i was fucking sleeping

sam: go bacm to sleep

rhodey: how can i when my fucking hell phone is having a seizure next to my face

sam: WHY IS IT NEXT TO UR FACE

steve: put it on the countertop

rhodey: oh my god ur so white who the fuck says countertop

sam: white people but i agree 

sam: put it away

rhodey: why are yall even awake

bruce: insomnia

loki: hela wont shut up

thor: on call with bruce and brunnhilde

steve: bucky is spamming me

tony: im gay

nat: im sleep when im die

pepper: omg wait hows hela

loki: shes being loud like i just said

pepper:...

loki: she is fine

pepper: good

bucky: thats gay

pepper: die

bucky: you know what maybe i will

steve: omg...this is so sad :(

bucky: i hate you

steve: :) aww buddy ily2

bucky:  🤬🔪🤡

nat: what is rhat

bucky: its me stabbing steve

bruce: steve i cant believe ur a clown... 😔

steve: i been clowning bucky since before i knew how to count

bucky: SHUT UP

tony: this is why none of us have rights

stephen: this is why steve punched his wall

rhodey: BNDKSJDJS 

sam: the white boy jumped out

nat: how does the wall feel steven

steve: broken

steve: a nice circle behind my big tiddy anime girl poster

loki: that sounds vaguely sexual

bruce: only vaguely???

nat: i have never read anythinng so cursed in my life

bruce: and you love browsing the r/watchpeopledie subreddit  😳

nat: its a good subreddit

rhodey: you are the scariest person in my life

nat: as god intended.

loki: omg nat u like that subreddit too???

thor: oh my goD

thor: i fucking remember the lsat time you sat me and hela doen and made us fucking watch shjt off of that

loki: hela enjoyed it

thor: thats because hela is a psychopaht who took forensic pathology as a subject 

pepper: add hela

thor: no.

stephen: why not whats so bad about her

thor: did you go blind when i sent the messagr where i told you she is a PSYVHOPATH

stephen: pathologists are not psychopaths, thor.

thor: i dont believe that for one fuckign second

 

loki added hela to the group chat!

 

hela: heard you were chatting shit thor

thor: oh my fucking god

pepper: HELA

hela: PEPPER

stephen: nice to meet you hela

hela: who this bitch

thor: thats stephen strange from physics

hela: am i supposed to know this guy

thor: ....no...thats why im introducing him to you

hela: i am hela. 

thor: wow you sound so clever

hela: fuck off you fucking jock cunt

bruce: WOW

bruce: i would stand up for you b but that would be suicide

thor: the betrayal

thor: hela i hate you

hela: ur next. seven days and i dissect you.

stephen: oh she really is a psychopath 

thor: this is why you should all start listening to me

tony; ive decided

bruce: oh no

tony: you can add who you want

bucky; FUCK YEAH

steve: wtf calm down do you even have any friends

bucky: steve 

steve: what

bucky: do you wanna fight me

bucky: is that what this is

steve: no...

bucky: SORRY WHAT WAS THAT

steve: NO SIR

bucky: FUCK YEAH 

 

bucky added t’challa, shuri, okoye and m’baku to the group chat!

 

shuri: OH SHIT

okoye: oh no

m’baku: oh for fucks sake

t’challa: OHHHH YEAHHHH

bucky: did you just turn into the cool aid man

t’challa: briefly

shuri: he does that sometimes

bucky; i am aware i am dayting him

clint: D A Y T I N G ?

nat: yeah why would you spell it like that

clint: no i wasnt talking about that i was more concerned about the fact they just proclaimed they are DATING t’challa 

okoye: was white man not aware?

clint: im white i know nothing

shuri: it seems you are the only one not in the loop

clint: that sounds about right

m’baku: about white*

t’challa: BDJDJDJDJS 

bruce: oh god when clint finds out m’baku is involved too hes gonna have an aneurysm 

clint: wAIT WHAT

bruce: called it

clint; ALL THREE OF U???

bucky: yes

t’challa; ofc

m’baku: unfortunately 

bucky: EGGSCUSE YOU

m’baku: sir this is a mcdonalds

t’challa: can i PLEASE get a waffle?

 

 

thor added brunnhilde to the group chat!

 

bruce: HILDE

thor: HILDE

brunnhilde: BRUCE

brunnhilde: THOR

bruce: THOR

thor: BRUCE

shuri: this is so cute :(

okoye: ur such a thorucehilde enthusiast

shuri; thats my new legal occupation where is my certificate 

t’challa: in the trash

shuri: :(

shuri: that was one time

m’baku: im sorry what was one time

t’challa; shuri is a bin fisher

m’baku: BINFISHERISKDJAKDHQL

nat: what the fuck is one of those

okoye: someone who fishes in bins

t’challa: searches through trash

tony: ok ok everyone add everyone you want in here, clint add wanda for okoye

okoye: hEY

 

clint added wanda and pietro to the grouo chat!

tony added spideybitch and scott to the group chat!

thor added quill, gamora, mantis, nebula, heimdall and carol the group chat!

 

spideybitch: omg is this what i think it is

quill: OMG IT TOTALLY IS

spideybitch: OMGJSLSND QUILL

spideybitch: HOW HAVE YOU FUCKING BEEN YO

quill: SO GOOD YO HOW ABOUT YOU

gamora: idiots

spideybitch: FUCKIN AMAZING YO IM SO GLAD UR HERE

quill: HEHEHEJDJS IM GLAD UR HERE TOO  🥺🥺🥺🥺

nebula: this is why no one lets these two interact why did you do this

nebula: why would you add quill to anything

thor: my fwiend  🥺🥺🥺

quill:  🥺🥺🥺🥺 babey

thor: babey!!!!

gamora:...

wanda: gamora feels threatened

peitro: watch out thor

gamora: i am not threatened at all

brunnhilde: i would hope not

gamora: ur the only bitch here with rights

brunnhilde: not even you? believable.

nebula:  👀👀👀

mantis; hello nebula

nebula:  💗💗💕💗💕💗💗💕💗💗

mantis:  💕💕💗💕💕💗💕💕💗💕

scott: holy shit am i actually involved in something

steve: S C O T T

scott: oh my god 

scott: we-

scott: im having a breakdown

scott; hello steve

steve:  😌😌😌 hello

bucky: stop building their ego scott

sam: their head is big enough

rhodey: im going to curbstomp steve

t’challa: JDKAHDKAND

m’baku; brutal

tony; it is deserved

steve: youre all fucking rude

scott: stop being mean to steve

steve: god ur the best person i know

rhodey: sorry what was that?

rhodey: that should be directed at sam

sam: stop that

rhodey: open ur door

sam: WHY ARE YOU AT MY DOOR

rhodey: i got an uber

steve: why am i not there

rhodey: why would you be here

steve: UR MY BOYFRIENDS

steve: WE ARE A WHOLE TV DINNER NOT A 2 FOR 1

bucky: that isnt a very good comparison

rhodey: we are not food steven

steve:  😔😔😔

nat: i cant believe your bullying stebe

scott: nat make a protection squad sith me

shuri: i want to join

bucky: i dont.

steve: i hate you bucky

bucky: okay.

nat: cold

brunnhilde: yall BLOWING blowing up my phone huh

scott: tony....

tony: what now

scott: can i add some people.....please

tony: do what you want ive lost control of this hellhole

stephen: you hold control over nothing

loki: i am finding this quite amusing

thor: why is heimdall just lurking

heimdall: thats what i do

thor: stop it

scott: nice to meet you heimdall

spidey: HELLO HEIMDALL I AM PETER 

heimdall: hello

spidey: HOW ARE YOU

heimdall: why are you shouting

spidey: oh im sorry

shuri: why were you on caps lock if you couldve gone off

spidey: i was letting my personality shine

heimdall: i do not like your personality then

thor: H E I M D A L L

heimdall: what

thor: thats rude

heimdall: oh shit

heimdall: sorry peter

quill: ME?

heimdall: why are both peters so loud

mantis: its a gift

nebula: it is quite the opposite of that mantis

t’challa: i think its nice

shuri: thats because you are also loud

 

scott added hope, jimmy, ava and luis to the group chat!

 

gamora; oh my god theres so many people in here

thor: is that a bad thing?

gamora: yes?

nebula: why is that a question 

gamora: i feel like if i was mean to thor i would be killed

brunnhilde; thats because you would be :)

bruce: what she said :)

nebula: you are not scary bruce

bruce: :( 

brunnhilde; why is he frowning

nebula: IM SORRY

nebula: YOU ARE VERY SCARY

bruce: !!!thanks

brunnhilde: god i love you

steve: those three are a true tv dinner

thor: dont call us that

sam: theyre just jealous thor

thor: okay? is that supposed to make me feel better?

hope: scott why am i here?

scott:  💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

scott: thats why

jimmy: do i get hearts

scott: OF COURSE

scott:  💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

steve: omg i wish that was me

sam:  💕💕💕💕

steve: more :(

sam: 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

steve: more :(

sam: thats all im capable of

rhodey:  💕

steve: is that it

rhodey: be grateful

steve:  💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💕💗💕💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

rhodey: holy shit

spideybitch: omg

scott: THATS SO SWEET WE-

bucky: i just watched them type that out 

shuri: yall seen that one video of that guy spamming the hearts in his phone? 

bucky: you are right to say that man is steve

shuri: fucking called it

t’challa: dont swear

shuri: shut up

 

spideybitch added mj and ned to the group chat!

 

ned: give me my fucking lego you manchild

mj: hes been on about this for hours peter please give him the lego

spideybitch: im not giving you the fucking lego

shuri: whats this about lego

t’challa: yes...talk to the children your age...

shuri: im going to kill you

mj: peter please hes going to go super saiyan

spideybitch: let him

nat: what the fuck did i just come back to

scott; art

scott: what lego set is it

ned: pirates.

scott: LET ME THE FUCK IN UR LEGO CLUB

hope: actual child

jimmy:  💕💕💕💕

scott: i am now single

jimmy: BITCH

loki: scott i will help u with that

scott:  😳😳😳

scott: really?

loki: yes <3

scott: less than three to you too babey 😌

hope: the betrayal

ava: h

scott: AVA

ava: hello scott

scott: ILY HOW ARE YOU

ava: im good

ava: why am i here 

ava: i know a total of three people in this place

scott: MAKE FRIENDS BABES!!

loki: are you calling another woman babes!?!!?!

scott: IN A PLATONIC WAY

hope: u and loki arent platonic?

scott: NO WE ARE

scott: LOKI LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE

loki: no scott look what YOU have done...

scott: oh my god what have i done...

gamora: crackheads. im surrounded by crackheads.

shuri: YALL 

t’challa: what now

shuri: IT REALLY IS YEET OR BE YEETED HOLY FUCKING SHIT

t’challa: what the fuck have you done shuri

shuri: HEHEHEJAHAKAJSKWNDK

spideybitch: SHURIIIEEEEEIEIEIEIEEIE

tony: peter what have you done

spideybitch: HEHEHEHHEH 

spideybitch: SHE STOLE SOME HEELYS

t’challa: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE STOLE SOME HEELYS

shuri: HAHHAHAJENWKDBE OH FUCK I CANT BRETAHEHRUEUEURUE

bucky: SHURI UR GIVING CHAL A HEARTATTACKSHWKDH

shuri: DONT DIE OLD MAN

bucky: i really just gotta say one thing

bucky: this is a total bruh moment

steve: never say those words again

t’challa: IM FUCKIDJS SHURI UR GROUNDED

spiderbitch: OOOOO

shuri: YOU CANT GROUND ME?????

t’challa: YES I CAB

shuri: IM NOT SCARED OF YOU

m’baku: *clears throat*

shuri: oh

shuri: ok ya do what u want

spideybitch: HEJSUEJSISBAKWWI SHURISHEIERJ

scott: hey not to be annoying or anything but can we do introductions please 

steve: UR NOT ANNOYING

jimmy: I LOVE YOU SCOTT

hope: ur kinda annoying but only when u break into my house at 3am

jimmy: ....what

jimmy: U DO THAT?

scott: it was necessary 

hope: every time?

scott: yes

clint: im shhakinf that implies u have done that more than oncee

scott:....

scott: OK SO INTRODUCTIONS  😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

 

carol added maria to the group chat!

loki added eddie and wade to the group chat!

 

loki: ok we good

thor: they/them 

loki: theyre dyslexic too so if i see any of u ugly bitches make fun of them for their spelling i will murder you on the spot

spideybitch: thats fair

steve: he/they

bucky: he/they

t’challa: he/him

bruce: he/they pleaseee

thor: i am in love with yuo

bruce: 💗💗💗💗💗

brunnhilde; she/her

shuri: she/her

m’baku: he/him

t’challa: a cissie has arrived....

bucky:  🤢🤢🤢

m’baku: im breaking up with you both

t’challa: the stench 🤢🤡

bucky; yall smell that shit?

spideybitch: he/they/xie  😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

tony: THE VALIDITY!

shuri: THE POWER!

mj: THE STRENGTH!

ned: THE BEAUTY!

spideybitch: we 💗💗💕💕

ned: he/him

mj: she/they

tony: he/him

pepper: she/her

rhodey: he/him

sam: two cissies in a row 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

pepper:  👩🏻‍🦲

tony: JEKAHDKWBD

sam: he/him

quill: he/she/they/xie idrc

gamora:  💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

quill: omf 

quill:  💗💗💕💕💕

gamora: she/they

nebula: she/her

stephen: he/xie

nat: they/xie

clint: he/him can i change my name kn here pls

tony: yes

 

clint set his name as clintfilm!

 

clintfilm: LIKE CLINGFILM

clintfilm: GET IT?????????

nat: yes we get it

thor: for the record i did not get it

nat: that’s because you are braindead

thor: you are not wronng

loki: nat

nat:  😇😇😇

loki: ur on thin fucking ice

loki: they/xie

nat: pronoun buddies

loki: ...sure

carol: she/her big gay

thor: WIFE

carol:  💗💗💕💕

thor: give me ur homework

carol: bold of you to assume ive done it

thor: shit

okoye: ill dm u both it 

carol: ur a fucking life saver

okoye: just because ive done it doesnt mean its right

thor: havnig any answers id good wnoigh

okoye: fair 

maria: oh hi

carol: MARIA 💗💗💕💕💕💕💗💗💕💗💗💕💗💗💕💗💗💕💕💗💕💗💗💗💗💕💗💗💕💕💕💕💕

maria: hello carol 

thor: ha gay

maria; youre not wrong thor

maria: she/her

scott: oh hi maria  😁

scott: he/she/they/xie

quill: PRONOUN BUDDIES!!!!

scott: FUCK YEAH 

hope: oh no theres two of them

gamora: my exact thoughts

hope: she/her

okoye: she/her

wanda: she/her

pietro: he/him

wanda: shut up piehead

pietro: PIEHEAD?

wanda: DIE

pietro: YOU

wanda: TWAT

tony: what the fuck

pietro: rhis is why you are single wanda

wanda: bastard

wanda: you’re single too

pietro: eat shit

heimdall: huh

heimdall: he/him

wade: and what the FUCK is this

spideybitch: WADE

wade: SPIDEY

wade: omg ur username  💕💕💕

spideybitch:  💗💗💗 u have big influence on my choices

tony: not a good thing

wade: r00d

wade: oh shit pronouns

wade: they/xie 

nat: WHATS UP FUCKERS

loki: WHY ARE YOU ON MY PHONE

wade: BECAUSE FUCK YOU THATS WHY

nat: PRONOUN 

wade: FUCKING

loki: TRIO

clintfilm: shut up

nat:  🗿🗿🗿

loki: who are you again

clintfilm: That Bitch

loki:...incorrect

wade: its a no from me

clintfilm: okay simon fucking cowell

wade: im going to kill you.

clintfilm: bet

hela: wait loki has friends

thor: friend*

loki: this is a hate crime

hela: aaww :( what a shame

hela: she/her

wade: hela? whomst?

spideybitch: loki and thors sister

wade: YOU HAVE A SISTER

loki: yes

wade: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME LOKES

loki: one- never call me that again

loki: two- why would i talk abt what i hate

hela: you dont hate me

thor: they do

hela: this is unfuckingbelievable

mantis: you are scary hela

hela: good

mantis: is it really?

hela: yes

mantis: oh

mantis: okay

mantis: xie/xem/xir please

nebula: babey 💕💕💕💕

scott: my dog just ate a spider

spideybitch:  😔😔

scott: my dog is a murderer i have to call the police

jimmy: WEE WOO WEE WOO

scott:  😔😔 sir my dog just committed homicide what do i do

jimmy: kill the fucking dog

hope: KEHDOSBSKA

hela: i like you

jimmy: im taken

hela: as a friend

jimmy: i have friends

hope: JIMTJTISJDJS

jimmy: put the fucking dog down scott

scott: but sir i cant do that

jimmy: then ill do it for you *cocks gun*

scott: SIR

jimmy: i have my glock

scott: THAT IS A NERF GUN SIR

jimmy: its filled with real bullets

scott:  😵😵😵😵

ava: wait fuck

ava: she/her

luis: he/him

jimmy: he/him

eddie: he/she

eddie: what is this

eddie: why are you murdering scotts dog

spideybitch: they’re defending my kind

mj: *gets bit by a spider once and is suddenly part spider*

mj: shut up peter

wade: leave spidey alone

spideybitch:  💕💕💕😔😔😔

tony: kid you got an infection not a superpower

spideybitch: shut up

steve: chuunibyou

bucky: weeb

steve: my glock is out

sam: JSLAHDMWE 

steve: did i ever tell yall just how much i lovey boyfriend

rhodey: only one?

steve: i only love what loves me

rhodey: i love you 

steve: oh

steve: thos is awkward

bucky: BDJSJDJ

rhodey: BITCH

steve: IM KIDDING

steve: ily rocky rhodes

 

sam set rhodey’s name as rocky rhodes!

 

rocky rhodes: im not mad

sam: dont say it

steve: please dont say it rhodey

rocky rhodes: just disappointed 

sam: NO

steve: im going to cry myself to sleep now

wanda: its 11am and u are in class

steve: i said what i said

tony: damn rhodes who knew you could be so heartless

rocky rhodes: u would be too if u were dating those two

sam: thats not very nice

rocky rhodes: ok

thor: i would never treat bruce and hilde like that 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

brunnhilde: i actually fucking adore you 

thor:  💕💕💕💕💕💕💕😁😁😁😁

bruce: FUCK im in love with you

thor:!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

gamora: imagine dating thor

brunnhilde: a dream come true

quill: or you could just carry on dating me gamora

gamora: IMAGINE DATING THOR

thor: imagine dating gamora

gamora:  🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

thor: imagine dating quill

quill: OH

quill:  👩🏻‍🦲👩🏻‍🦲👩🏻‍🦲👩🏻‍🦲👩🏻‍🦲😁😁😁😁💕💕💕💕💕😄😄😄😄😳😳😳😳😳😇😇😇😇😇💗💗💗💗💗💗☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

thor:  🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️

thor: thats me on my way to kith u

quill: hey guys me and thor are gonna elope see you in 10 years when we are married, have renewed our vows 7 times and have 30 children

brunnhilde; u dont have my blessing

gamora; at least take us with you

bruce: :(

steve: am i witnessing something?

bucky: ur witnessing something beautiful 

pietro: how can thor have 4 s/os but i have 0

clintfilm: thor is 282938299192929229x the person u will ever be

pietro: thats fair

nebula: why did scott just barge into my classroom and say “nipple” and stare at me for 30 seconds flat

tony: SCOTT I FUCKIRNSOQK

mantis: wait what

luis: so basically we were in business right and we were just doing our thing like our work and stuff and we were also talking about tonys crush and basically scott barges in and everything goes silent and just stare at him and he just looks straight at nebula with the blankest face and says “nipple” and they just stare at eachother for 30 seconds before scott closed the door as if nothing happened and left

tony: WHEN I TELL U I SCREAMED AFTER THEY LEFT

nebula: im so fuckinf confused

hope: ABOUT THAT....

hope: scott forgot what ur name was and was like “nancy? nasa? ni...nipple?” 

tony: NASA

mantis: i love my girlfriend nipple

steve: that can be taken a very different way

tony: we get it steve ur a virgin

steve: SHUTUOSOEISKJ

scott: nebula i am so sorry i just wanted to know if you would answer to nipple

nebula: i hate you

scott: :(

steve: s c o t t ?

steve: how can you hate scott

thor: ^

hope: idk its pretty easy

scott: FUCKING R U D E

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell i gave up editing


	3. JSKABD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the fuck

2:51PM

m’baku: what the fuck

m’baku: gamora

quill: dont

gamora: what

t’challa: im shitting it for you peter

gamora:...why

gamora: what did they do

quill: nothing

thor: no one believes that

quill: this is stupid

m’baku: ur stupid

t’challa: quill got sent to hospital 

gamora: WHAT THE FUCK DO UOU MEAN THEY GOT SENT TO THE HOSPTIAL

thor: WHTA TEH FUCK

mantis: Q U I L L 

quill: shut up

mantis: QUILL WHAT DID YOU DO

quill: ur stupid

nebula: xie is not stupid ur the one witth the broken bone

gamora: WHAT THE FUCK

nebula: ur freaking my dumbass fucking sister out

t’challa: put their finger in the fan just enough to feel the buzz and before i could tell them to take it out they shoved it in further

m’baku: and now their pinky is fucking SNAPPED

thor: DHQNSJWNSJEBWL ARE YOU SERIOUSUSKWHDKENJE

bucky:  🗿🗿🗿

nebula: that has got to be the most idiotic thing i have ever fucking heard

quill: im valid because i didnt think it would do that

gamora: what the fuck did yOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN

quill: ????? MAYBE I WOULD BECOME ALL ELECTRICAL AND FAST

gamora: QUILL

gamora: YOU ARENT BARRY ALLEN YOU CANT-

quill: I CAN FUCKING DREAM GAMORA

quill: W

thor: quill sweaty its ok

thor: i forgive u 

quill: i knew i could trust you thor

gamora: peter is biggest idiot

spideybitch: disclaimer: not me

gamora: ur the better petter

nebula: petter

spideybitch: thanks but #ProtectQuill

mantis: #ProtectQuill

thor: #ProtectQuill

nebula: #KillQuill

hela: now ur speaking MY language #KillQuill

spideybitch: gamora u lead us

gamora: ugh do i have to

spideybitch: ur literally dating him

gamora: ugh do i have to 

quill: this is so fucking rude

quill: @nebula im stealing ur girlfriend bc mine hates me

nebula: im going to fucking suplex you next time i see you

quill: @nebula nevermind

gamora; i dont hate you....

scott: someone buy me a vajankle

gamora:.....a what

hope: v-vajankle?

quill: BEIWJDKW BITCH I WANT ONE TWO

scott: omg shopping trip

hope: what the fuck is a 

hope: vajankle

quill: fleshlight in an ankle

hope: WHAT THEFUCKEJWKDJ

thor: thats what its called???? i thought they were wankles

gamora: WANKLES

nebula: im severely upset i might just kill thor quill and scott

quill: THORQUILL

thor: omg us 🥰🥰🥰🥰

gamora: yes leave me

bruce: i dont want thor to leave me

thor: i couldnt

brunnhilde: quill is gointg to die

nebula: finally

quill: I GOT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL AND ROCKET JUST BIT ME

nebula: our influence!

brunnhilde: rocket is MY raccoon

quill: FUCKINGN TAKE HIM

gamora: you are not giving away our raccoon you fucker

quill: im sorry “OUR”????

quill: IM THE ONE THAT LIVES WITH THE TWAT

gamora: he prefers me so naturally hes mine too

quill: FUCKER

mantis: i love rocket

thor: rocket is the best investment anyone in this friend group has ever made

nebula: hate group****

loki: good morning

thor: its 3pm

loki: oh sorry

loki: good afternoon

thor: didnt you have class at 1?????

loki: huh

loki: would you look at that....

thor: YOU MISSED CLASS LOKI THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH

hope: THIRD???

thor: THIRD

hope: ITS THE 7th????

thor: MY FUCKING POINT 

loki: itS FINE

scott: thats not fine at all

loki: 🥺🥺🥺 scott...

scott: im telling you

scott: you need to go to class more

scott; before you get kicked out

hope: hearing this from scott is so funny

scott: fuck you

hope: :)

jimmy: ur suspended scott

loki; wait what

clintfilm: SCOTTS SUSPENDED?????

steve: SCOTT WHAT DID YOU DO

scott: old news

scott: ive been suspended for a few days now its fine

steve: no???????????

clintfilm: why didnt we hear about this

sam: SCOTT

wanda: SCOTT

loki: SCOTT

steve: SCOTT

clintfilm: SCOTT

bucky: SCOTT

t’challa: SCOTT

shuri: SCOTT

spideybitch: SCOTT

thor: SCOTT

hope: SCOTT

jimmy: SCOTT

nat: SCOTT

mantis: SCOTT

quill: why is there more people caring about scotts suspension than my broken bone

nebula: because more people care about scott

quill: this is bullying

nebula: shut up bitch *stuffs you in locker*

quill: NDKANDLABD

quill: omg guys im in a locker  🙁

nebula: *kills you*

quill: FUCK

quill: can you even kill me from inside a locker

nebula: a knife can go through anything if you push hard enough

quill: i wouldnt die from a stab wound

nebula: ok so ill just crush you in a junkyard

quill: !????? how will you get me to a junkyard??????????????

gamora; she will bring the junkyard to you.

steve: @bucky do u wanna eat watermelon with me

bucky: im not gay

steve: bitch its a watermelon....

steve: i didnt ask you to suck my dick?

steve: U HAVE TWO BOYFRIENDS LITERALLY WHAT DO U MEAN UR NOT GAY

bucky: bi erasure 

steve: im bi

nat: yall steve finally gonna snap....

bucky: ew dont clump me together with you

bucky: im bi buddies with gamora

steve; do yOU WANT WATERMELON OR NOT

bucky: duh? no shit steve? @gamora what a fucking idiot am i right? 

steve: i cannot believe i fought with tony in a parking lot for this

bucky; neither can i but thats a you problem

 

5PM

m’baku: t’challa is fucking evil

t’challa: no im not 

shuri: what did he do now

t’challa: NOW????

m’baku: he threw a whole bread at me

okoye: whole wheat bread or whole loaf of bread?

m’baku; both

shuri: thats not a big deal

m’baku: you seem to forget it was my boyfriend, the most powerful fucking thrower ive ever witnessed, who threw it

bucky, woahhhhhh ur dating t’challaaaa????? im having an otherworldly experience!!!!!!111111

m’baku: god i fucking hate you

okoye; why did he do it

bucky: yeahhhhh bakuuuuuu whyyyyyy

m’baku: im going to flick you

nat: is that it

okoye: its james he wont do anything harsher

bucky: challlaaaaaaaaaa baku threatened meeeeeeeee

m’baku: oh my god

nat: brat

t’challa: *puffs out chest* YOU CHATTING SHIT M’BAKU?

shuri: JDKSJS hes here....

okoye: i think i know why he threw bread at you

t’challa: im gonna throw a whole person next time

shuri: who are u sacrificing for james

steve: probably me

t’challa: steve because he understands james needs protection

steve: he isnt wrong

carol: are t’challa’s throws really that hard?

shuri: bitch is like donkey kong

carol: DONKEY KONG SHANDJAND

 

6PM

thor: @brunnhilde @bruce im going to quills house with gamora, mantis and nebula

brunnhilde: have fun babey

bruce:  💕💕💕 stay safe

thor: :)

 

7PM

brunnhilde: @thor are you having a good time with the fucking idiots?

gamora: rude

bruce: yeah is everything good

carol: it better be good

quill: nebula dont

nebula: theres a dart stuck in thors head

carol: w

carol: what

steve: JDLADJQNDJQNSLQOWWO

brunnhilde: please repeat that

quill: ITS NOT MY FAULT

shuri: LMAOOOOO UR DEAD

quill: MANTIS THREW IT

mantis; i didnt mean to :(

nebula: its not ur fault its quills

brunnhilde: What The Fuck Do You Mean

thor: i put my hand on the board so mantis sould have a smaller target and xie threw it at my head

gamora: tbf it is only in their forehead

steve: ONLY????

quill: @thor TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR FOREHEAD

carol: ITS STILL THERE???

brunnhilde: QUILL I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU AND CUT YOU UP AND FEED YOU TO THE FUCKING RATS YOU FUCKING FUCKER FUCK 

shuri: IM HOWLING

quill: literally what the fuck

nebula: they didnt even react and thats the funniest thing

nebula: we were all just shouting at them to take it out

steve: imcruingjskw

gamora: thor literally asked where it went

mantis: nebula took it out for them

brunnhilde: i swear

bruce: pull this shit again and im going to unleash hell on you fucking losers

stephen: christ

spideybitch: its times like these that i wish me and thor were best friends

thor: im best friends with everyone here

shuri: SOMFT

loki: even me?

thor: we are related

loki: point?

thor: i dont include you log keys

shuri: LOG KEYS

steve: low-key

bucky: lonely kite

carol: lactation kale

gamora: LACTATION KALE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eh knee ways...

**Author's Note:**

> repeat after me: scott lang is komaeda kin


End file.
